Balance of attention or rigidity when I write?

July 12, 2006
It's hard to choose between writing, the practice of putting words down, and the meta practices I need to feel on top, outside, in charge of the material. (Is it like balance of attention? Or rigid distress?)

I disappoint myself as a writer. (It's my mind. That's all I can show, my mind.)

Remember to write about the woman and the little girl on the subway, the little girl, maybe 8, half asleep leaning on her mother late at night and how it reminded me of not having had a mother in that way. The longing for a mother is the thing I can't remember that's always there.